Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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