On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
