I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
