just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
