How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
