Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
