We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
