he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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