I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
3pm strippers are depressing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
