I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You can't special order awesome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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