By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize