Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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