break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
