I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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