ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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