one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize