I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
