I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
