I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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