i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you made out with another girl for some wings
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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