**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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