hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We're too hungover to prance.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize