okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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