i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yo dont text me then not text me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
