I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
