you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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