please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
