you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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