VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
