I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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