PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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