phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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