I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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