Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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