He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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