the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
