He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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