i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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