I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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