the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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