he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
