the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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