The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
