Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bet he comes in French.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
