That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
