Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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