I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize