It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
