Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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