We need to rekindle our bromance
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
