is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
