No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Everything about him screamed your future.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
