he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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