Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
