I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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