drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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