The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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