I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
